Why do we self sabotage by over-eating or binge eating? In my
experience in working with hundreds of clients over the years there are
very specific reasons and ways to stop self sabotage by understanding
the internal need being served when we are doing these behaviors.
Here are some tips to get you started.
Tip #1: Discover If Your Cravings Are Physical or Emotional
How do you determine whether your cravings are truly physical hunger signals or emotional signals?
This is something I work with clients on regularly because after years and years of diet confusion so many people simply don't know anymore what true physical hunger is vs. emotional "hunger."
Though not exhaustive, I'm going to give you a few things to ask yourself to determine if your cravings are physical or emotional.
1. Did you skip breakfast? If so, this is the first thing to stop doing if you want to end cravings.
2. Did you eat enough protein at breakfast, and at subsequent meals? If not, implement this and then see if you still have the craving.
3. Did you eat meals within 5 hours of each other? In other words, did you skip a meal like breakfast or lunch and have a very long period between meals? If so, start eating regular meals and then determine whether you are still having the craving.
4. Do you eat balanced meals with enough fats, carbohydrates and protein in them? If not, you may want to find what works for you in this regard and work with a qualified Nutrition expert to discover how to eat in a way that truly satisfies your unique needs. General rule: do not leave any of the major macro-nutrients out from these three areas.
5. Drink enough good filtered water. De-hydration can often feel like hunger and gives a false craving for food.
6. Are you regularly doing any one of the above? This could create a real physiological out of control craving for food. Go back and start implementing all of the above over at least one week and then determine if you are still eating emotionally or have out of control food cravings.
If you have done all of the above on a regular basis and truly implemented those steps with food, and you still find yourself unable to stop eating when stressed, anxious or overwhelmed, lonely, angry, frustrated, for reward or other reasons, read tip #2.
Tip #2: Release the Emotional Need For Food
OK. So now you've determined that some of the cravings are emotional because you've eaten regular balanced meals and still find yourself anxious, stressed, lonely or otherwise overwhelmed at night and in the fridge.
Here are some good questions to ask yourself to begin to tap and release the need for the food under stress:
1. What am I feeling right now?
2. What do I need? Is it comfort? Reward? Love?
3. How can I get that need met in a positive way?
What I have found is that going to food to comfort is a habit. We don't think we can change that habit because we have never had a tool that really worked to make that possible before. Also, food is around us every day and always there for us.
This habit can change and what is important is to get started with tapping on the true feelings and needs and start to peel back the layers for what we really need. Food can never give us what we really need. It is simply a coping mechanism for something else.
That something else can take many forms from loss, grief, loneliness, learned rewards and comfort.
Tap every time you feel the urge to eat when you aren't hungry and the urge begins to go away. This can take 2 minutes to 20. I think if you give yourself the time you will find the craving will either significantly reduce or stop completely.
Tip #3: Address Internal Resistance
When it comes to sabotage and cravings here is what I've discovered. There is a component of resistance involved where we say we want to change something but we simply can't because being able to keep ourselves consistent with taking action either with tapping or with eating in a way that prevents cravings is very difficult.
Why does this happen?
It is because I think there are many internal drives that are simply counter to the goal we state and when this is happening we just spin our wheels and keep ourselves from truly doing the things that it takes to change. This is pretty normal I think and is another reason why people can try great programs and well, just keep "trying" things over many years and get no results.
How does this look?
I'll give you an example of what I think this looks like. Picture a scale with two sides. One side of the scale has all of your positive beliefs about yourself, your body, your weight and your life. On the other side of the scale are your negative beliefs.
Recently, a client of mine began to do this and her results have been remarkable. I get continual emails from her telling me how amazed she is and how good she feels. Almost as a side note she mentions she lost yet another pound too... all in a very natural way without trying. Why? Because we did the above internal work.
If you have been seriously stuck, or taking one step forward and two steps back quite often, you can guess which side of the scale is tipped. This creates enormous internal resistance.
The key is getting support sometimes with staying on track so we can continue to find and release this internal resistance. If you've been stuck for a long time and are unable to put the above two tips into action, I highly recommend getting support from a qualified expert with this issue to address the internal drives that keep you from getting the results you want.
Here are some tips to get you started.
Tip #1: Discover If Your Cravings Are Physical or Emotional
How do you determine whether your cravings are truly physical hunger signals or emotional signals?
This is something I work with clients on regularly because after years and years of diet confusion so many people simply don't know anymore what true physical hunger is vs. emotional "hunger."
Though not exhaustive, I'm going to give you a few things to ask yourself to determine if your cravings are physical or emotional.
1. Did you skip breakfast? If so, this is the first thing to stop doing if you want to end cravings.
2. Did you eat enough protein at breakfast, and at subsequent meals? If not, implement this and then see if you still have the craving.
3. Did you eat meals within 5 hours of each other? In other words, did you skip a meal like breakfast or lunch and have a very long period between meals? If so, start eating regular meals and then determine whether you are still having the craving.
4. Do you eat balanced meals with enough fats, carbohydrates and protein in them? If not, you may want to find what works for you in this regard and work with a qualified Nutrition expert to discover how to eat in a way that truly satisfies your unique needs. General rule: do not leave any of the major macro-nutrients out from these three areas.
5. Drink enough good filtered water. De-hydration can often feel like hunger and gives a false craving for food.
6. Are you regularly doing any one of the above? This could create a real physiological out of control craving for food. Go back and start implementing all of the above over at least one week and then determine if you are still eating emotionally or have out of control food cravings.
If you have done all of the above on a regular basis and truly implemented those steps with food, and you still find yourself unable to stop eating when stressed, anxious or overwhelmed, lonely, angry, frustrated, for reward or other reasons, read tip #2.
Tip #2: Release the Emotional Need For Food
OK. So now you've determined that some of the cravings are emotional because you've eaten regular balanced meals and still find yourself anxious, stressed, lonely or otherwise overwhelmed at night and in the fridge.
Here are some good questions to ask yourself to begin to tap and release the need for the food under stress:
1. What am I feeling right now?
2. What do I need? Is it comfort? Reward? Love?
3. How can I get that need met in a positive way?
What I have found is that going to food to comfort is a habit. We don't think we can change that habit because we have never had a tool that really worked to make that possible before. Also, food is around us every day and always there for us.
This habit can change and what is important is to get started with tapping on the true feelings and needs and start to peel back the layers for what we really need. Food can never give us what we really need. It is simply a coping mechanism for something else.
That something else can take many forms from loss, grief, loneliness, learned rewards and comfort.
Tap every time you feel the urge to eat when you aren't hungry and the urge begins to go away. This can take 2 minutes to 20. I think if you give yourself the time you will find the craving will either significantly reduce or stop completely.
Tip #3: Address Internal Resistance
When it comes to sabotage and cravings here is what I've discovered. There is a component of resistance involved where we say we want to change something but we simply can't because being able to keep ourselves consistent with taking action either with tapping or with eating in a way that prevents cravings is very difficult.
Why does this happen?
It is because I think there are many internal drives that are simply counter to the goal we state and when this is happening we just spin our wheels and keep ourselves from truly doing the things that it takes to change. This is pretty normal I think and is another reason why people can try great programs and well, just keep "trying" things over many years and get no results.
How does this look?
I'll give you an example of what I think this looks like. Picture a scale with two sides. One side of the scale has all of your positive beliefs about yourself, your body, your weight and your life. On the other side of the scale are your negative beliefs.
Recently, a client of mine began to do this and her results have been remarkable. I get continual emails from her telling me how amazed she is and how good she feels. Almost as a side note she mentions she lost yet another pound too... all in a very natural way without trying. Why? Because we did the above internal work.
If you have been seriously stuck, or taking one step forward and two steps back quite often, you can guess which side of the scale is tipped. This creates enormous internal resistance.
The key is getting support sometimes with staying on track so we can continue to find and release this internal resistance. If you've been stuck for a long time and are unable to put the above two tips into action, I highly recommend getting support from a qualified expert with this issue to address the internal drives that keep you from getting the results you want.
Aucun commentaire:
Enregistrer un commentaire